My "Grace Story"

I became a Christian when I was 6 years old.  I know....sounds so dumb, right?  Are you old enough to make decisions like that when you're only six years old, or are you just kind of rolling with whatever your parents believe?   Well for me, I'd say "both", and I'll go on to describe what I mean in a bit.  Anyway, when I was 6, the church that we were members of at the time put on this big children's event with music and plays and speakers, in an attempt to present the gospel to us in a kid-friendly way.

So I remember hearing the message, mostly understanding it, knowing that it was something my parents believed and had accepted, knowing that hell certainly sounded scary, and that was no place I wanted to go, and deciding, "Guess I'd better do this".  Luckily, my parents and my church knew that the decision warranted more thought and consideration than that, even if you were only six, and so I went through a short class at the church, that basically laid out the gospel message in terms that a six year old could understand.  Wanna hear the Gospel Message for Six Year Olds?  Ironically, it's the exact same thing as the Gospel Message for Thirty Year Olds:

- There's God, and He's perfect (He has no sin)
- There's us, and we're not (we're full of sin)
- God can't be around sin
- God loves us and DESIRES to be around us
- The sin's gotta go in order for that to happen
- We can't get rid of it ourselves
- Uh Oh...sounds like a problem
- Actually, it's not, because God sent Jesus to take the sin AWAY from us, so that we can still have a relationship with Him, DESPITE our sin
- We have to believe that and accept that
- Problem Solved

Anyway, that all made sense to me.  It made perfect sense, in fact. So I made the decision to accept Jesus as my savior.

And then after that, not a lot happened for a while.

Then when I was probably 14 or so, I started questioning EVERYTHING about what I believed.  I wasn't sure at all anymore if God was real, if Jesus was real, if the Bible was real, if Heaven or Hell was real...all of it seemed a bit hokey for a while.  I was really scared that I was "believing" something that was all a lie.  I was also really scared though to NOT believe it, in case it was true.   So I spent a whole summer pouring over books...reading anything and everything I could get my hands on that presented evidence...both philisophical and physical...of why it wasn't crazy to believe what I believed.  Why it, in fact, was very well-founded, and rational.  That was kind of a weird, difficult, and draining summer for me, but at the end of it, I felt like I could truly say that my faith was my own, and not just my parents.

And then after that, not a lot happened for a while.

I went to high school.  I drank beer and went to parties.  No one would really ever have any reason to "suspect" that I may be a Christ-follower.

Then, I went to college, and Nason stayed home in Austin, and pretty much NONE of my friends came with me to A&M, and I knew NO one, so for the first month or so, I felt a little lonely, and lost, and suddenly very aware of how dependent I was on PEOPLE (specifically Nason, and my parents) to make me feel happy, secure, and content.  I had a renewed desire to kind of "get to know" God again.  I started attending a Bible study at A&M, and really began to grow a lot in my relationship with Him.  I learned a lot that semester about what it meant to depend on HIM, and not on other people, to make me whole.

AND then....I drank some more beer, and went to some more parties, and kind of forgot about God for a while.

Don't hear me wrong by the way...if you're in college, and of age, by all means, drink some beer and go to some parties.  It'll be ok.  Of much graver concern than the beer and parties, was the fact that nothing in me was seeking God whatsoever during that time...figuring out what He wanted from me, DOING it, becoming more like Him, telling others about Him...those were the furthest things from my mind.

Then Nason and I decided it was time to quit being lukewarm...either we WERE people who followed Jesus, or we weren't.  We decided that we were, and that our new priority was going to be to live for Him.  So we did, and we do, and in the last 8 years, I have continued to backslide here and there....going through periods where God is really really growing me, and changing me, and showing me new things every day, and then going through periods where I am just so spiritually lazy, and so caught up in day to day life, that I forget about God for a while.

And that's it.

Which is why sometimes I feel like my "grace story" sucks.  I hear about people all the time who were addicted to crack..well ok I guess I don't really hear about people ALL the time that were addicted to CRACK...but I hear about people who had drug addictions, alchohol addictions, crazy horrible lives...and then they accepted Jesus and their lives were turned around 180 degrees.  They have these awesome stories where it is SO obvious how Jesus changed their lives, and I sometimes feel like I don't have that.

BUT...

I've come to two really important realizations, and if you didn't pay attention to anything else, I hope you pay attention to this:

- Sin is sin, and it's what keeps us from God.  Maybe I was never a prostitute living in a crack den, but I may as well have been.  In God's eyes, no sin is better or worse than another, and by continuously turning my back on Him, continuously finding other things that were/are more worthy of my time and attention than Him, by continuously making MY priorities more important than HIS priorities, by losing my temper, by gossiping, by being greedy and stingy with my time and money, I'm offending God, and therefore I too need/needed someone to take my sin away from me.  Jesus did.  THAT's grace.  

- God loves me too much to leave me the way I am, so when I think back over my life, every time I've gone through periods where I'm oblivious to God, he has ALWAYS reeled me back in. He has ALWAYS continued to grow and shape me. He has ALWAYS met me where I'm at, and then shown me how to go from there, to where HE wants me to go.  Every day, He works on making me more and more like Him.   THAT'S grace.

And that, folks, is my "Grace Story".

Own It!

Our current sermon series at church right now is called, "Elements: Essentials for Owning Your Salvation".  We've been talking about how we are each responsible for our own spiritual growth, and that in order to "own it" (take responsibility for it), there are 5 "essentials" that every Christ-follower should be doing.  So far, we have discussed four of them:

1) Pursuing God 

2) Forming Christ-Like Relationships

3) Being Good Stewards of our Lives

4) Sharing our "Grace Story" with others

(In the event that you were interested in learning more about any or all of the above, you can listen to the sermons online http://mediaplayer.hcbc.com/. )

Anyway, last week, Pastor Tim gave us a huge challenge.  (and really, there shouldn't be anything all that challenging about this "challenge", but for some reason, it is).  He  talked about how most of us are OVERLY eager to share so many aspects of our life with others.  For example, we post all kinds of things on Facebook, blogs, etc about our new house, our new job, the milestones that our children are achieving, our current workout regime, the fact that our kid peed in the potty for the first time (ahem ahem), what our views are on politics and specific candidates, and the list goes on and on.  How many of us though bother to share with others the very thing that a LOT of us CLAIM is the most important thing in our live...our relationship with God?  Not many.  Hang on...it gets more convicting.  

He went on to say this: as Christians, we believe that there is such a thing as Heaven, and we believe that there is such a thing as Hell.  We believe that a relationship with Jesus....accepting and acknowledging Him as our personal savior...is the ONLY way to get into Heaven, and thereby avoid Hell.    We CLAIM we believe this...we accept it OURSELVES...and yet......we don't tell anyone else about it?  What!?!  The point (right now) is not even whether we are right and wrong about our beliefs.  That would be a whole other sermon.  An entire sermon series, perhaps.  The point he was making in THIS particular sermon, was that we BELIEVE we know the way to have eternal life, and yet often times, we don't feel any urgency to tell others.  He compared it to a person who found the cure for cancer, used it to cure themselves, and then never bothered to tell a single other soul about it, despite the fact that millions of people worldwide suffer from cancer.  

ANYWAY.  He concluded with a challenge, to EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON sitting in church that day.  He said, "I challenge you this week to tell someone your "Grace Story"...YOUR personal story of what Jesus has done in YOUR life".  He said it multiple times.  Like, maybe the first time you could just pretend you didn't hear him say that.  He said it at least three times though, and even if you were there and you are deaf, that wouldn't be an excuse, because they have a sign language interpreter.  So personally, I feel like if I don't take him up on this challenge, I'll be the lamest, most timid little mouse of a person ever, so.......up next is my "Grace Story".  ("up next" because I hear a certain two year old starting to stir around in his bed, and I'm betting I have about two minutes left before I start to hear "Mama" being yelled at full volume from his room)

Some Musings on the Week...

Monday....Nason and I are back to having Monday-night "meetings".  Really, it's just planned out, quality time, where we're not allowed to look at phones, computers, ipads, ipods, or TV.  We actually have to talk to each other.  Remarkable!  And.....the TV DOES come on eventually, because after all, Monday nights are Batchelor  nights, and heaven forbid I miss that.  I love our Monday nights together though.  Wine is most definitely a part of it, and it is just so wonderful and refreshing to be able to have an actual meaningful, COMPLETE conversation, with the guy that I love.  I think I like the "complete" part even more than the "meaningful" part. Being able to spit out MULTIPLE sentences at once without getting interrupted by a certain little voice saying "mama" is just divine...I don't even care WHAT we're talking about

One Reason I Love Nason....he can always be counted on to say what's on his mind, and say it without beating around the bush.  He had lunch with some guy this week, and somehow the topic of church, God, and Jesus came up.  Nason starts describing to him the relationship between God, and us.  Nason doesn't go all "spiritual" on him, or "church talk-ish".  He says this: "Dude, it's like a loving husband, and a wife who is a cheating whore.      Every day the husband comes home from work, and find his wife sleeping with some new dude.  God is the husband,  and we ALL are the cheating whores.  God keeps pursuing us and loving us and coming after us over and over, even though all we do all the time is "cheat" on him by constantly pursuing and loving other things more than Him."  To which the guy responded, "Hmmm.  That's good.  I've never heard anyone put it that way."  I'm sure he hasn't!!!  Ha ha.  I love it though!  What a wise and funny guy 'ole Nasie Cat is.  

I made......yet ANOTHER super delicious recipe off of Pinterest.  Icebox Cake.  Look it up.  I don't feel like fiddling around and figuring out how to link it to this post, but trust me...it was GOOD.  

I found out....some really fun news.  No, I'm not pregnant.  And don't you worry about what the news is.  When this blog is ready to share it with the world, it will.  

I am SO excited BECAUSE....Little Benjamin Looper is FINALLY coming home!!  Whoo hoo!!!! Wanna see how cute he is?  Look!

If you don't know the Looper's, and haven't followed their story, Ben was born about 9 weeks early, with some heart complications, but he is A-Ok now..healthy, happy, and getting chubbier every day...and I am so excited he gets to go live at home with his wonderful Mommy and Daddy now, and get out of that dang NICU!!!!

I Should Be.... folding laundry, and running 2 miles right now, instead of blogging.  It is FREEZING outside though, and windy, and downright miserable, so whether or not the running happens, remains to be seen.  I have no excuse for not doing the laundry though, so off I go......

3 More Thoughts on Tattoos...

1) When I think about OTHER people (that aren't me) getting tattoos, over the age of 30, it doesn't necessarily seem like a desperate attempt to cling to youth.  It's only when I think of myself doing it....and even then, it's more that OTHER people will VIEW it as a desperate attempt to cling to youth.  So all of you (several of whom I've talked to since writing this blog post) who are over 30 and thinking about getting tattoos...I don't you think you're dumb.  Which leads me to my next point...

2) Krista Box...you're one of the coolest girls I know, and if you get a tattoo, even at the ripe old age of 32, I won't think you're lame.  I promise.  I was (and still am) the biggest supporter you have, of the half-sleeve idea.  Plus, you look like you're 25.  18, even.  If you get a tattoo, people may think you're too YOUNG to get one, and that you need your parents permission first :)

3) My sister, an Authentic Tattoo Person, has assured me that people in their 30's are most definitely NOT too old to be getting tattoos.

Pretty "Radical", Alright...

I just finished reading "Radical" by David Platt.  "Radical" has been on my book list for, like, forever. By the way,  part of being a bookworm, and maybe just a nerdy person in general, means that you do things like this:

Have 4 Booklists...

- Parenting Books
- God Books (I just don't know how to word this category.  Spiritual books?  Jesus books?)
- Just for Fun Books (Fiction, sometimes it may be somewhat intelligent fiction, other times it just may be Trashy Romance Novel caliber)
- Educational books (if I'm learning about SOMETHING, it counts)

Then, every time I hear of a book I want to read, I add it to the appropriate list, and I just constantly cycle through each category.  Seriously, why do I have such a complicated system for reading books?  I really don't know.

Anyway, "Radical" got added to the list probably a year ago, but there was a LOT of books already in line in front of it.  I have to say, I was glad about that fact.  "Radical" is one of those books that you know you should read, and you know it's going to be good, but you know it's going to be incredibly, INCREDIBLY convicting, and therefore, the longer you put off "having" to read it, the longer you can put off "having" to do what it says.

I've been scratching off books from my list all year long, nervously getting closer and closer to "Radical", and then last month, I finally got to it.  Ugh.  So I thought, "Ok.  Let's do this.  Let's just read it, read it fast, get it over with, check it off the list, and move on to Danielle Steele or something".  So is that what I did?  No!!!!  I finished it, THEN suggested to my small group that we all read it together as a group.  What in the world was I thinking???  Why do I want to subject myself to this book a second time??  Honestly, I DON'T want to.  I'm just not sure what came over me, when I suggested that.  .  Here's the thing.. the book WAS good, no doubt, but upon reading it, you really can't just finish it and move on to the next thing.  You have to decide what you are going to do, with what you've read.  I GUESS you could do nothing, but I think after reading it, and CLEARLY hearing God speak to you through it, it would be an awfully risky little gamble to just totally ignore Him.

Anyway, I have LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of thoughts on this book.  Things I agree with the author on, things that I'm not sure if I do or not, things I was majorly convicted about, etc.  Rather than make this already much too wordy Blog of mine even wordier, by having one, 30 minute long post on this book, I think instead, as my small group goes through the book a second time, I'll write a series of mini-posts about my thoughts, and our thoughts as a group, on this crazy little book.  Stay tuned for that.

Tattoos and Aging

Have you met my sister? She has a lot of tattoos.

I think she pulls the look off well. I couldn't pull off having that many tattoos, and honestly, probably wouldn't want to. It's her style, it's not mine. BUT. But. I DO like tattoos. More lately, than ever. I don't know why. Maybe it's slightly due to Kristin's influence. Maybe it's a genetic thing, and Money-girls are just hardwired to like tattoos, and only one of us (the one that isn't me) has been brave enough to actually GET them, while the other one has just always secretly WANTED to (By the way, I do have two, but they're tiny, and one is a flower on my lower-back, which, for heaven's sake, cannot even be counted. A flower has got to be the #1 Lamest Tattoo Design a person can possibly get, and the only thing lamer than a flower itself, is a flower positioned on your lower back). Anyway, regardless of what the reasons may be, I would really like to get a few more tattoos.

 I have ALWAYS had a thing for forearm tattoos ...and I think that's where I'd like to get one. Or two. But definitely no more than three. I really love the location of this one too:

Here's my issue though....I think I may be too old. What do you think? Here are two things I fear in life:

 1) Aging (kind of ashamed to admit that this is a fear. Yes, I realize that our worth and value has NOTHING to do with appearance, and that wisdom comes with age, and yada yada yada. I really do realize that. I still think it sucks).

 2) Doing goofy things to make it look/seem as though I'm NOT aging, without even realizing that that's what I'm doing.

 I have a fear that getting new tattoos at age 30-rapidly-approaching-31 COULD potentially be a classic example of #2 (or at least be perceived as that).

 So I feel this urgency to hurry up and get them if I'm going to get them.

 30 is still young enough that you can KIND of still lump yourself in with the 20's crowd...the crowd that is DEFINITELY still within the acceptable age range of tattoing. MAYBE you even still can at 31.  By 32 or 33 though, you probably need to go ahead and start lumping yourself  in with 30's and 40's crowd, and unless you are just an authentic Tattoo Person (and I think we can all agree I'm not), you're just too old to be doing such things. At least I THINK that's my opinion. I haven't officially decided, and that's why I'm asking for YOUR input. So weigh in!

My Blog Isn't Going to Have Many Pictures..Deal With It

Here's the primary reason I continuously find myself starting, stopping, and then re-starting my blog: I initially get really excited about the idea of blogging, because I LOVE to write, and I LOVE to record all of the eventful (ok, who are we kidding... mostly boring, no-so-eventful) things that make up our daily lives, because I LOVE to go back months and years later, and re-read all of it. But then this pressure slowly starts to build...the pressure to have PICTURES. I feel like most people who are in the market for quality blog-reading, are expecting pictures. They browse quickly through the words, in search of the PICTURES. "Why are there so many words on this blog, and NO PICTURES??!??!??", is probably what anyone who reads my blog is saying. Well here's the deal, people....my camera sucks, I suck at taking pictures, I feel like an annoying member of the papparazi whenever I try to snap shots at playdates, birthday parties, and other such events, AND really, it's just the principle...if I'm taking a picture solely for the purpose of posting it on my blog, well that's just goofy. I was feeling kind of bummed about this, like maybe it means I just shouldn't have a blog, but then I remembered two things: 1) This blog isn't solely for your eyes only...it's for MINE. And I am perfectly happy having no pictures on here 2) One of my very favorite blogs that I follow is my cousin-in-law's (or something like that...it's my husband's cousin's wife), and her blog has very few pictures, and yet I absolutely love it. In fact, you should follow it, too. Click here. She is freaking hilarious. By the way Amanda, although we are family, I'm pretty sure we've only met in person like twice ever, but I wish we could hang more, because your blog posts never fail to make me laugh out loud!!! So.....if a blog with pictures is what you're in the market for, you might ought to quit visiting mine, because you're going to continue to find yourself sorely disappointed. If what you ARE in the market for is boring stories that only I find interesting, fascinating-only-to-me updates about Gunnar, my insights that seem really intelligent and thought provoking to me, but probably aren't to anyone else, and the occasional link to other people's blogs who are way more interesting than me, than this is the blog for you!!