As My Pregnancy Comes to an End.....

Well, I really cannot believe it, but I am almost done being pregnant!! Gunnar's due date is in 15 days, and if he doesn't come by then, we'll probably induce (because the doctor says we can, so why not??). This pregnancy has gone by SO. INCREDIBLY. FAST. I don't know if it's because I've worked throughout the whole thing, and therefore kept pretty busy, or what, but the time has just flown by. I woke up this morning feeling really sentimental about the fact that soon I will not be pregnant anymore. I know that's weird...I know most people hate being pregnant, and are dying for it to be over. I also know that actually having Gunnar HERE will be way cooler than toting him around in my belly all the time, but still......the realization hit me, that I am going to miss being pregnant. It has just been such a fun, exciting, and special time for Nason and I. That being said, here are the Top Seven Things I Will Miss About Being Pregnant (It started out as Ten, but I didn't want the blog entry to be too long):

1) Lately, I end up falling asleep before Nason when we get in bed. Apparently, once I am asleep, Gunnar gets all fired up, and starts "partying" as Nason calls it. Since I am cuddled up against Nason, Nason can feel Gunnar kicking him on his back, so Nason always says that him and Gunnar hang out and have "guy time" after I'm asleep. It's so cute and sweet.

2) I can eat like a pig (like I secretly ALWAYS want to do, even when I'm not pregnant) and not feel guilty about it.

3) The excitment of something new happening each week with Gunnar....reading about what he's developed each week, watching my stomach get bigger, which means he's growing, seeing how he's changed at each sonogram, feeling him kick and wiggle, and the list goes on and on.

4) The SPECIAL ATTENTION! Yeah...I'd be lying if I said it wasn't kind of nice having everyone treat you like you're way more delicate than you really are....giving up their seat for you, carrying things for you, cleaning the bathrooms for you (Nason), etc. : )

5) Our baby doctor appointments. I think they're fun! Maybe that's weird (especially now, considering the fact that I pretty much get brutalized each time I go), but I really like them. Nason and I always go together, our doctor is really fun and never fails to make us laugh with his quirkiness, we usually go have breakfast afterwards (Nason and I....not the doctor), and it's just so fun to get to hear little G's heartbeat...that part NEVER gets old.

6) All of the "firsts". My FIRST time to be pregnant. The FIRST time to have a baby shower, the first time to get to register, the first time to buy baby furniture and set up a crib, the first time to see a "+" on a pregnancy test. So many exciting "firsts". It kind of makes me sad to think that it will probably all be just a tad bit less exciting with the second baby.

7) The feeling of knowing there is a PERSON inside of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is about 10% weird and creepy, and about 90% amazing and awesome and wonderful. Every now and then, when Gunnar moves, it will kind of creep me out, like there's a little alien moving around in my stomach. But most of the time, it just leaves me in absolute awe and wonder, and GRATEFULNESS, that I get the honor of "housing" this little guy until he is ready to enter the world!

And the things I WON'T miss about being pregnant....

- Having to limit my Diet coke intake!!

- Not being able to eat cookie dough or calimari

- MATERNITY CLOTHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I cannot WAIT to be able to buy my first cute, non-maternity outfit)

- Waddling instead of walking

- The horrible quality of my sleep

Then and Now.....

Gunnar's Jungle

Showers, Shots, and Swine Flu

Shower: I had my second baby shower on the 19th. It was my "family" shower, and my mom, Nason's mom, and my grandma hosted it. It was so much fun, and I (or Gunnar, actually) got SO many great gifts. Sadly, I hardly took any pictures, and the few that I did are so bad, that I'm not even going to post them (although there are a few on Facebook). Nason's Aunt is supposed to be emailing me some that she took, and once she does, I'll post them. Anyway, the shower was great, and I was very thankful to my two mom's and my grandma for all the hard work that they put in. I'm also very thankful for the generosity of all of our family and friends! We have gotten so many things at both showers, that we hardly have anything left to have to buy for ourselves! Thanks everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!! Although I have been extremely appreciative for EVERY gift that I've received, there are a few in particular that, for whatever reason, I have been especially excited about. If the gift you got me is not on this list, don't get your feelings hurt : ) Everything I've gotten, I've needed AND requested. There were just certain things that were especially fun to get:

- The letters that spell out "Gunnar" that my mom and grandma gave me
- The picture that hung in Nason's birthday when he was a baby, that his mom gave me
- The "Pajama Time" book that Beth gave me
- The aquarium (for Gunnar's crib) that my Aunt gave me (even though I'm actually not sure anymore that it's going to fit correctly on the crib)
- The bubble bath Michelle gave me
- The sound maker my mom gave me
- The cushy leopard print robe Nason's Aunt Deb gave me
- The "boppy" Cassie gave me

Shots/Swine Flu: For the first time in my life, I got the flu shot. I've never even had the flu before, but there's been so much hype about the flu this year, and especially how dangerous it is for pregnant women, that I figured I better think about getting it. The news was saying pregnant women should get it, my doctor was saying pregnant women should get it, and the overwhelming vote on Facebook was that pregnant women should get it, so I got it. Then, I freaked out about getting it, and second guessed my decision for the next 24 hours. This was my first big "mom" decision. Should I get the shot, and risk the theoretical risk of the stupid ingredient that I can't even pronounce ( "thimerosal") that's in the shot, OR should I NOT get the shot, and risk DYING, or giving the flu to Gunnar once he gets here? Talk about two crappy scenarios! Is there a "win" in this situation? (I know I'm being dramatic, by the way). Anyway, the whole decision, combined with the guilt/worry/anxiety/second guessing afterwards reminded me of how I DON'T want to behave as a mom. I have vowed to not be a worry-wart, not freak out about everything, not be paranoid, etc., and before the little guy even gets here, I already am. This does not bode well for the next 18 years. I haven't even decided if I want to get the swine flu shot too, which is also being recommended by my doctor. One traumatic decision at a time, please!!

With 5 1/2 weeks to go....here are the things I'm most curious to find out....

1) If Gunnar will have hair: I've always thought, in the competition for cuteness, bald babies win out over "hairy" babies. Therefore, I've always said that I hoped my baby would be born bald. HOWEVER, for whatever reason, I've recently really begun to hope that Gunnar comes out with hair on his head. I don't know why. It's kind of a weird thing to have a strong preference on, or to care so much about, but I just really do hope he has hair! Only time will tell!!

2) What Nason will be like in the delivery room: Nason is typically the epitome of calm, laid back, and in control. He never (or rarely ever) worries about anything, and HE is usually MY rock. However, he is getting a little freaky on me when it comes to the whole labor and delivery thing. I feel like I am pretty calm about all of it, and not too worried or nevous, whereas HE is the one "crumbling" for once. He has two big fears about the labor process: 1) Not being able to be in control, and do anything for me, while I'm in so much pain. 2) Having to witness all the "yuck" involved with birth. He's not sure his stomach can take it. In fact, he came dangerously close (and I'm not exaggerating) to passing out in our birth class on Tuesday. What's funny though, is that as unsure as he is in his ability to handle his role as "labor coach", I am COMPLETELY confident in him. I have a feeling he's going to end up being a lot cooler in there than he thinks he is. However....only time will tell!!

3) Who Gunnar will look like: Me? Nason? One of our parents? My brother or sister? Some random relative that neither of us have ever even seen, and only one of our grandparents (or someone in that age category) can recall? It could go so many different ways! I feel like the Hengst side of the family has stronger, more dominant features, so I think he's going to look like Nason, but there's really endless possibilities! Will he be cute?? I know he will cute be to US, because we're his parents, but will he be one of those kids where only his parents can recognize his "true beauty"? Only time will tell!!

4) If I TRULY have a "high pain tolerance" like I always say I do: I think I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. In fact, I've even been entertaining the notion of going "all natural" with this birth (much to Nason's dismay). Because of my scoliosis, and having rods attached to my spine, I can't have an epidural. Instead, I have to have a "spinal block", which basically accomplishes the same purpose as an epidural (it's actually even stronger), BUT it doesn't last as long, so it can't be given to me until the VERY end of the labor process. Basically, right before the pushing begins. Part of me wonders if, since I will have already gone so far with no medication, should I just go all the way? I really feel like I could do it, BUT the very idea of it freaks Nason out, plus, at this point, I can only use my imagination to try to figure out what labor feels like. I really have no idea, and therefore, no way of knowing if it's worse than what I'm picturing. Only time will tell!


5) Where will I be/what will I be doing when Gunnar decides "today is the day": I'm working right up until I have him, so I feel like the likelihood is high that I could go into labor while at work. Which would be a little awkward. Awkward especially considering the nature of my job...speaking to high school classes all day every day. What if my water breaks in front of 20 17-year olds? What if the school nurse has to deliver Gunnar? Ha ha. Only time will tell!!

Jumpman 23

My favorite gift to date is this Jordan outfit........pretty ridiculous for the soon to be little baller!

Shower!!

I had my first baby shower on Saturday!! Yet another event I have been looking forward to for a very long time. (I wonder if sonograms, showers, registering, etc. are as fun with subsequent children, or if it's only your first? If it's only exciting the first time around, then I'm kind of sad that all of my "firsts" are going to soon be over) Anyway, I had so much fun, got so many great gifts, got to hang out with so many great friends, and was reminded how "so" grateful I am for all of them, specifically my hostesses! It's funny how none of the gifts (with the exception of the aromatheraphy bubble bath Michelle got me..which was life-changing, by the way) were even for me (they're tehnically for Gunnar), and yet they were way more exciting to open than any other gift I've ever received! How funny to get excited over things like bottle brushes, sheet protectors, and Diaper Genies!!! Here are some pictures from the shower. By the way, I think my friends are the most thoughtful and CREATIVE girls of all time!!!

Gunnar in 3D!

At the beginning of the month, we were able to go in to get our much-anticipated 3D/4D sonogram pictures done. I have been SOOOOOO incredibly excited about this for pretty much the entire pregnancy. ALMOST (dare I say) more excited than when we found out the sex. I wasn't disappointed. Our hour-long sonogram session was every bit as exciting as I thought it would be. Two UNEXPECTED feelings I experienced though were:

1) The feeling that we were kind of "spying" on him: I know that sounds dumb, and I didn't dwell on it for longer than about 5 seconds, but it did cross my mind that it was kind of strange that we were all staring at him, and watching his every move (him sucking on his toes, stretching, rearranging, scrunching up his nose, sucking, etc.) for a good hour, and he had no idea. Nor could he see us (obviously). Kind of like we were invading his privacy. Ha ha.

2) Awe/love/thankfulness/fear all combined, and in that order: Shortly after we left the doctor's office, and I was flipping through Gunnar's pictures for probably the 100th time, all of the above listed feelings kind of flooded me at once. Awe: at how CUTE he was, how AMAZING it was that the little person I was looking at in the picture was what was actually inside my stomach at that very second, and how AMAZING the entire process of conception and pregnancy, and birth and life even is. Love: I think up until that point, I loved the IDEA of Gunnar, and loved knowing that I was pregnant, and that we were soon going to have a baby, but I think actually seeing his little face really made me love HIM for the first time. Thankfulness: that God even allowed us to have such an awesome gift. I think before getting pregnant, I (and Nason, too) just kind of assumed that whenever you decided you wanted to have a baby, it would just kind of happen. Just like clockwork. Make the decision, do what needs to be done (ha ha), get pregnant, have a baby. Kind of like it was all in our hands. HOWEVER, we learned that is not the case. It took us a long time to get pregnant (a year a half). As hard as that was, it could have been worse. We know plenty of people who have taken WAY longer than that, or who were unable to get pregnant at all, or who have had lots of problems, miscarriages, etc. Bottom line: getting pregnant and having a baby is NOT in our hands. It is 100% in God's hands, and it 100% happens according to HIS plan, and in HIS timing. The fact that He has allowed us to experience that gift at all is just unbelievable, and I am so grateful. Fear: Looking at the pictures made me realize that once Gunnar is born, he is going to just be so sweet, and small, and innocent, and helpless. His physical needs, emotional needs, spiritual needs, EVERY need is going to have to be met by Nason and I. Now, I know that ultimately Gunnar belongs to the Lord, and that HE will be the one to TRULY meet his needs, however, God has put Nason and I in the position to most immediately meet those needs, and that is a BIG responsiblity (notice I use CAPS a lot to emphasize my poins :) ) Besides just his physical needs, which is overwhelming enough in itself, it will also be our responsiblity to be godly examples to Gunnar, to steer him in the right direction, to help him see and understand the purpose that God created him for, etc. It made me wonder, "Did God know what He was doing when He trusted us with this??? What if we mess Gunnar up somehow?" I'm sure every new parent feels that way, and I know it's just going to take a lot of trusting in God, and being sensitive to where He leads us, but I just hadn't really had those thoughts until Sonogram Day.

Anyway....here's a picture of our handsome little son. For all you FB friends....you've already seen this. Sorry.