Saturday, June 30, 2012

The Two Best Things I Do Every Day

I'm in a parenting "season" right now, where every single day just seems super difficult.  Not sure if it's the age Gunnar is at, or if he's just an especially difficult child, or if I'm doing a crap job of parenting him,  or I have some sort of hormone imbalance that's making me especially irritable, tired, and impatient, or WHAT.  I just know that at the end of almost every day lately, I'm feeling a bit worn out, defeated, and guilty (guilty, because I've spent the better part of my day griping at, scolding, correcting, and disciplining Gunnar). That's not what I WANT to spend my day doing.  I WANT to have fun together, play, cuddle, you get the idea.  At any rate, there are two things I started implementing a while back, and when all else fails in our day, these two things remain so SO good.

1) In the mornings, during breakfast, we have a little daily devotional time.  We pray together, we say his memory verse from class, I ask him what he thinks the verse means (sometimes he provides me with an excellent explanation.  Other days, he says random things like "I love my friends", or "do the right thing", which, to his credit, ARE things we've discussed in the past, but, bless his heart, have NOTHING to do with the verse we're currently discussing), and then we read a story from his Jesus Storybook Bible.  At the end of the story, I try to give him some practical application from what we've read, and we talk through ways he could implement it during the day.  The whole thing doesn't last any longer than about 10 minutes, but I seriously think it's the most important, and purposeful, thing that I do all day long.  I want Gunnar to grow up going to God's Word FIRST for direction.  I want it to be familiar, and relevant to him.  I want him to see God as a real person in his life, who loves him, and who has important things he wants him to know, and do.  Gunnar literally NEVER sits still, not even for meal time, but he actually genuinely enjoys this time we spend together in the mornings, and because of that, he miraculously sits (somewhat) still for it.  I learn a lot from it, too!  You can't read a story to your child about Joshua marching around the city gates of Jericho, and how God expects us to obey Him even when it seems hard or crazy, and then not feel convicted yourself about how well YOU'RE obeying God, even when it seems hard or crazy.

2) We have "rocking time" right before he goes to bed at night.  Up until just a few months ago, after dinner, I'd clean up the kitchen, while Nason basically took over all of Gunnar's bedtime routine (bath, PJ's, and putting him in bed).  Recently though, Gunnar decided he wanted ME to take him to bed, instead of Nason.  Nason and I were both a bit bummed by this at first.  Nason, because he enjoyed being the one to tuck Gunnar in. Me, because I enjoyed knowing that as soon as dinner was over, I was "off" for the day.  My bubble bath awaited me.  However, I have come to LOVE and look forward to "rocking time" as Gunnar and I both refer to it.  We've settled into a ritual (I've decided I'm a "ritual" kind of girl).  We sit in his rocking chair and talk about our day, and recount all the things we did.  I pick one thing I think he did especially well that day, and really talk it up.  We sing a few songs.  We pray together.  It is SUCH sweet time, and I wouldn't trade it for anything, even my bubble bath (which I still have, just 15 minutes later).  I know there will be a time where he either doesn't want me to rock him anymore, or he's just too big for me to rock, and then I'm going to miss this time, so I cherish it while I have it.

So there you go.  The "daily devotional" time is over by about 8:45 am.  The "rocking time" starts at about 7:15 PM.  Everything between 8:45 am and 7:15 pm may be an absolute disaster, and fail in every way possible. I may have pulled all my hair out, found a mini pile of  Gunnar poop on the kitchen floor, forbidden Gunnar from speaking for ten minutes "while Mama's ears rest for a while" (that actually happened today), and been tempted to pour myself a stiff drink at 2 in the afternoon, but those two special times, are truly "the two best things I do every day".

Friday, June 29, 2012

Little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That....

Friday afternoons during Gunnar's nap time USED to be my designated "do nothing" time.  Every other day during his nap, I would fill the ENTIRE time with a hefty list of to-do's, but for that one day, my naptime itinerary would be: 1) Do nothing 2) Read blogs 3) Play on Facebook 4) Do nothing.  In January though, after sitting down and kind of restructuring my days/time/priorities, I decided to scrap that habit, and use my Friday afternoons a little more wisely.  Today though, for this one Friday only, I'm doing NOTHING again.  Nothing that is, except updating my blog with "a little bit of this and a little bit of that"....

So here are some things we've been up to:

Well, for starters, it was SUPER hard getting back into the swing of things, after our vacation.  It seriously took me the whole week of being home, to feel like I was back in the groove.  That's a little excessive I know...we were only gone for four days, not a month....but it really did take the full week.

We took Gunnar to see his second movie ever (and it was the first one I ever went to with him.  Nason took him to see the Muppets, while I was out of town back in December).  He did really good!  A few times, we had to bribe him with Skittles to stay still and quiet (that's some incredibly awesome parenting, right there), but it did the trick.





In REALLY big news, Mission 82:3, the organization that Nason and I, along with our friends the Hunt's and the Box's, started up last year, put on it's first official fundraising event!  It's been a long time coming, and we were so excited to finally be able to put an event on a for a family that's adopting.  We did a movie night at Alamo Drafthouse, with a silent auction.  The family we are assisting, Jeremy and Ashley Self, received a portion of the ticket sales, as well as ALL of the proceeds from the silent auction, totaling over $6,000.  We definitely learned a lot through the experience...quite a few things we need to figure out better ways of doing next time around....but overall, we were very pleased, and were so happy to be a small part of helping to bring Schella home!



I already posted this video on to Facebook, but in case you missed it (I mean, in case you don't stalk my Facebook page non-stop, so as to never miss a SINGLE thing that I post), here it is again:

 https://vimeo.com/44736904 




If you want to know more about the Self's and their story, and/or donate to the fund to bring Schella home, you can do that here:  http://www.mission823.com/partners


We started potty training!!!  I'm completely at a loss of exactly what kind of report to give you on this...if you'd asked me last week how it was going, I would have said, "SOOOOOO good.  Hardly any accidents, pee OR poo (oh the things you talk about on a blog, when you're a mom), one of the easiest things ever!  If you'd asked me Monday-Wed of THIS week, I would have said, "pretty good.  A few accidents, but overall, still doing good".  If you'd asked me yesterday, I would have probably growled in your face, thrown something at you, and then pointed to the poo smeared on my arm, the floor, and the toilet seat, because we seemed to have had nothing BUT accidents yesterday.  Now today, we're back to doing pretty good again.  So it doesn't really seem to be a gradual improvement each day, rather, it kind of seems to be all over the place.  Literally.  Ha.  A friend recommended this book/method to me, so I'm going to read that over the weekend, and begin implementing that on Monday.


We said goodbye to some great friends.  The Barrington's, our friends from church, and our small group, are moving back to California.  Like, they're actually en route this very second.  We've only known them for just under a year now, and for a good portion of that year, we've known that they were most likely moving back home to California, but it's still sad!  The one positive about the whole thing (well, except for the measly little "positive" of them doing what they feel that God is asking them to do, and the other measly little "positive" of them being close to family again, and the OTHER measly little "positive" of it being a great career move for Tommy...the one positive besides all that, is that we now have a great reason to visit California, AND somewhere to stay when we do!





(I didn't have any great pictures of their whole family...mostly just ones with only Janay in the picture...so I stole this off their blog.  Is that weird, Janay? ;)  )

I'm still reading the Hunger Games (almost done with Catching Fire now), and I still feel the same way as before...I LIKE them, but I don't get the whole craze surrounding them.  I give the books a solid A-, maybe even a B+, and I'm really just so surprised by that, because it seems like every person I know, no matter their age, personality, TYPICAL taste in books, etc all LOVED the series, and claimed to have not even been able to put the books down....and I'm just not feeling that.  Call me weird.  I'm more feeling like I want to hurry and finish them, so I can move on to the next thing.  I'm..dare I say it...a bit bored by them?!?

Oh, I was going to do some "picture dumping", until I realized that pretty much every picture I have on my phone, I've already posted to Facebook.  Wow, that's a bit much, huh?  Do I really need to share EVERY shot I ever take, with the entire Facebook community?  Could I not just experience an event without making sure all of Facebook sees it/knows about it?  You'd think my life was so exciting, judging by how I apparently feel as though everyone I know is dying to be privvy to all the details of it.  By the way, I've been thinking that the whole concept of "checking in" places, is so stupid.  I do it, for sure.  I may even continue to do it, but it's definitely one of those things that when I REALLY think about it, I'm like, "why the heck do I do that??".  "Hey Everyone!  I just checked in to H-E-B!  Isn't that awesome??" "Hey Guys!  Well, here I am having dinner at Chuy's.  I better go ahead and "check in" so that in case there's an emergency and you need to find me, you can come here and get me!". WTH??? No one cares!!  Right??? (Although I will say I KIND of care about other people's check-ins.  Gotta make sure they're not doing something more fun than me! Ha ha).  Anyway, I did find one picture on my phone that I didn't post on Facebook, that I thought was kind of funny, because the way Gunnar looks in it totally sums up in two words, what he's been like the last several weeks: dirty, and mean.



Dirty: I guess just because he's a boy, and that's how they are, but I just feel like I wipe him down a million times a day, and every time I look at him, he has some sort of nastiness smeared all over him (the last few days, poop). Oh but wait...that's not poop on his face in the picture!  It's chocolate.

Mean: He has just been crabby and mean lately!  I wish I could blame it on teething, but of course that phase is long over.  So I don't know what to blame it on!  His age?  He's pissed off we're making him use the toilet?  My parenting skills leaving a lot to be desired?  I have no idea.  He is just a crabby, crabby little thing as of late.

Ok, well that's it's for now.  Toodles!


Sunday, June 24, 2012

Lessons

The saddest thing happened this week.  A 17 month old little boy in Cedar Park, drowned in the swimming pool in his backyard.  Nason's cousin Mary is friends with the mother of the child, and she is the one who originally updated me on what happened.  Instantly, upon hearing about it, I felt sick to my stomach.  I've continued to feel just down in the dumps, and kind of in a funk, since then (which obviously pales in comparison to the emotions that the family of the child is experiencing).  I felt (feel) so very very sad for the family.  Also, as is typically the case with situations like that, my mind starts going to, "what if that was Gunnar?" or "what if that happens to Gunnar?", and those are, of course, very sobering (more like, "gut-wrenching") thoughts.

I really just have not been able to quit thinking about the whole thing all week.  I WANT to quit thinking about it.  It's an awful thing to dwell on, and envision.  It hits really close to home, though.  Literally, for one thing.  The family lives really close by to us. Also though, we know the child's aunt and uncle.  The little boy was somewhat close in age to Gunnar (a toddler, at least).  We are in a season where we pretty much LIVE at a swimming pool lately.  I just can so easily envision how something like that could happen, and.....it's awful.

Anyway, I've learned a few lessons this week, that I think are important:

1) Upon hearing about the incident, I felt depressed.  Depressed about what happened to the little boy, yes, and depressed at the idea of something so horrible ever happening to Gunnar, but more than that, depressed that we live in a world where things like that CAN even happen.  Why in the world does that have to be the case?  WHY are such senseless, tragic things like that allowed to happen?  One tiny little moment, an accident, and someone's entire life is changed forever?  That shouldn't even be ALLOWED to occur.  It seems so unfair.  It seems like we deserve to have guarantees that things like that will NEVER happen.  Why should ANYONE have to experience things like that?  Seriously.  The more I thought about it, the more depressed, and even angry, I got.  And then I started thinking (or maybe God started telling me): Those feelings are only valid, if you're operating under the assumption that we live in a GOOD world.  A world that is SUPPOSED to be good, happy, easy, and fair.  If that were the case...if that was the correct expectation...then yes.  We would be justified in being SERIOUSLY pissed off when tragic events occur.  That's NOT the world we live in, though.  There IS a world like that, that's coming..it's called Heaven.  We're not there right now. Why do we try to pretend like we are?? We're here...on Earth...and this is how it is.  God never promised that this world would be good.  This world is ugly, and things like this do unfortunately happen.  We would all do ourselves a huge favor to let go of any expectations we have that this world is going to treat us awesomely, at all times.  However, the very fact that deep inside, we expect something better..KNOW that this is NOT in fact the way things SHOULD be...to me, is evidence of the fact that there IS something better, and this is NOT the way things should be.  THIS LIFE IS NOT ALL THERE IS.  There's another one coming, that's eternal, and in it, God is going to make right, all the things that went wrong here.

2) It made me absolutely cherish and savor every second with Gunnar this week.  I'm just gonna be honest...that handsome little dude can be annoying sometimes.  He can!  I'm just telling you.  He's two, for one thing.  He's also super rambunctious, loud, and whiny at times.  He asks the same question over and over and over again.  He can be moody. He can flat wear me out.  But every time this week that I started to get annoyed about something, I'd think to myself, "how much would the parents of that other little boy WISH that he was here "annoying" them?".  My perspective would then totally change.  One day, before his nap, after Gunnar had tried EVERY OTHER tactic in the book, to delay having to lay down and go to sleep, he asked in an oh-so-sweet (and clever and calculating) way, "Mommy, rock me for just a minute".  As sweet as the request may sound, I know my little one well enough to know he wasn't trying to be sweet..he just knew it was his best shot at buying a few more minutes of awake time.  I almost shot him down, and then remembered, "cherish the time".  So I picked him up and rocked him for a few minutes, and when it was all said and done, I decided I could think of no way I would RATHER have spent five minutes, than rocking my precious boy.

3) It was a reminder to me to WATCH Gunnar carefully.  Not that I need an excuse to be more paranoid, worrisome, and hyper-vigilant than I already am, but the truth of the matter is, accidents happen FAST, and it doesn't take more than a minute or two of taking your eyes off of your curious, fearless toddler, for something bad to happen.  I know I have to strike a healthy balance here, because again, I can tend towards paranoid, worrisome, and hyper-vigilant, BUT other times, in certain situations, I can get a little too lazy, a little too comfortable, a little too preoccupied, and that's really all it takes for disaster to strike.  Nason and I have decided to make it a point to VERBALLY acknowledge which one of us is "on", when it comes to keeping an eye out for Gunnar, specifically in large groups.  Yesterday for example, we had a BBQ at our house, with a lot of friends, and a lot of kids, and the kids were running in and out, and all over the house, and in the bounce house, and in various parts of the yard, and it's easy in situations like that to assume SOMEONE is watching him, when in fact, no one is.  So a simple "you got him?" to one another verifies that one of us is indeed supervising his whereabouts.

4) It makes me SO GLAD that we went ahead and did swim lessons with Gunnar this year.  He learned so much, and while I will NOT be taking my eyes off of him at the pool until he's like 15, he did learn some basic skills that I think would help give him a fighting chance if he were to fall into a pool.  For example, he can pretty easily jump in, turn around on his own, swim back to the wall, and pull himself out.  And at this point in the blog, I'd like to HIGHLY recommend his swim teacher, Joy McCain.  She is SO good, and goes far beyond just teaching kids how to get comfortable in the water, and maybe blow bubbles. She teaches them survival skills.  Her email address is joymccain@gmail.com, and really, I just can't say enough good things about her.

My heart and my prayers go out to the Manning family.  I don't even know them, but I have shared in the tiniest, most microscopic little bit of their sadness this week, and that small amount was a lot.  I can't even imagine how they are feeling, but I am confident that even in the midst of it, God truly is making all things right.

 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

This Time Last Week, We Were __________

You'd think I'd hate my "reality", from how much time I spend bemoaning the idea of having to get "back to reality".  I actually LOVE my reality.  (My reality being the sweetest little boy of all time, whom I missed like crazy while I was gone, and whom I LOVE getting to hang with every day).  And by the way, it really was SO SO SO good to get back home to him.  I enjoyed every single second of my first day back home with him today...watching his swim lessons, a date at chick fil a, a playdate at the sprinkler park, and even ANOTHER date to McDonalds for a cookie after his nap this afternoon.  But gosh....is it ever nice to be waited on hand and foot, while lounging by a pool all day, dining out at amazing restaurants in South Florida, and then collapsing into the most lush hotel bed of all time at the end of your oh-so-exhausting day, only to get up and do it all again the next day.  Call me shallow, but I'm not totally sure I'd ever get tired of that.  Well, maybe I would.  But....maybe I wouldn't.

This was mine and Nason's second time to be away from Gunnar for an "extended" period of time (extended being: more than two nights), and both times, here is how I felt about being gone from him:

- Days Leading Up to Trip: I don't want to go after all!  I'm going to miss Gunnar too much!!  I wish I hadn't agreed to go on a trip.

- First Day Gone: I miss Gunnar!  I wonder what he's doing?  I really wish we were home with him right now!

- Second Day Gone: I still miss Gunnar.  This is pretty nice though.

- Third Day Gone: I still miss Gunnar, but this is REALLY nice, and I kind of wish we were staying a few extra days.

- Fourth Day Gone: I still miss Gunnar, but I could TOTALLY stand to have a few more days alone with his daddy!  WHY didn't we decide to do a solid week vacation?

Anyway, I'm going to write this post, recounting all the highlights of our trip, and then that's it.  I'll be done mourning the end of it, and ready to hit the ground running again here in the real world (which seriously, I really do love).

Highlights:

1) I'm not scared of flying anymore!!!  I seriously don't know what happened.  Last time I flew...no, the last probably five times I flew...I was terrified.  I basically had to sedate myself in order to even appear sane.  I was not being dramatic, or exaggerating, or attempting to get attention, or anything like that.  I was just seriously terrified.  This time, I felt the same way, leading up to getting on the plane, but then....like magic....once I was on the plane, I was totally fine!  Completely cured of my phobia.  I even enjoyed it.  Enough so, that it's appearing in this list of highlights! Crazy!!

2) Our hotel.  Everything about it.  I'm not sure I can ever stay at another hotel again, after staying at the Ritz Carlton.  Here was our room:


Add a crazy big bathroom to that picture, and a balcony overlooking the ocean, and there you go.  Best room ever.

3) The Club Lounge.  There was some promotion at the hotel, and part of our package deal, was that we got full access to the "Club Lounge".  Typically, this would cost you $200 a day, and it would be well worth it.  It's this beautiful, comfy, lounge area, with indoor and outdoor seating, huge TV's, cozy couches, and.....all the food, drink (alcoholic, non-alcoholic, and coffe-ish) that you want, along with your own concierge to attend to any "needs" that you may have.  Talk about being pampered!

4) BMW Resort Driving Tour.  Here, we lucked out again.  Just so happens that BMW is currently doing a promotion, and they had this whole fleet of BMW's (various models, none of which I really know anything about), and if you were a guest at our hotel, and you wanted to take out a BMW for the day, all you did was mosey on down to the front desk, tell them which kind of BMW you wanted, and for how long, and it was yours! It really was that simple.  They even told us, "if you accidentally wreck it, call us, and as long as you aren't intoxicated, we'll just bring you another one of your choice".  What?!?  Anyway, like I said, I don't know a lot about cars...I don't really get all that impressed by even the snazziest of them....but Nason seemed to be pretty pumped, and the cars we took out did have some pretty cool features I must say.  Not even to mention...it was free! No cab fares for us!!

Here's a picture of Nason, in front of one the cars we took out.  The picture is crap, because Nason DESPISES posing for pictures, and basically refuses to do it, but he was in a good mood I guess, because he so graciously decided to grant me a one-second window to snap a shot and be done with it. This was the best I could do:



5) Las Olas Boulevard.  A charming "little" (not really) street, packed with restaurants, shops, bars, and salons.  Twinkling lights everywhere.  Perfect place to stroll around, stuff yourself with good food, and people-watch.


6) People-watching.  Quite possibly the best I've ever done.  Here are the three things that are apparently NOT frowned upon in Fort Lauderdale, that, while a bit inappropriate at times, make for some AWESOME people-watching:

- 70 year old guys dating/married to 20 year old girls
- PDA (and by PDA, I mean "Pretty much Doing it with an Audience)
- Wandering around with your butt-cheeks in full view

Here we are, drinking some way-to-expensive margaritas, in the second best people watching spot in Ft. Lauderdale (the first best being our hotel pool):


7) Our pool.  Ohhhhh it was heavenly.







8) Uninterrupted time and conversations with my Nasie Cat.  Didn't realize just how much we needed that until we got there, but we really did, and it was so nice.  Wouldn't trade it for anything...I love that guy.

9) Uninterrupted reading time.  I read two books while I was there (and had time to read a third, but stupidly only brought two).  One was....The Hunger Games!  I officially caved.  The whole idea of the book seemed kind of stupid and uninteresting to me, so I held off forever, but eventually, my curiosity got the best of me, and I jumped on the bandwagon.  My review of it?  I liked it a lot.  A lot.  It held my attention, kept me interested and entertained.  It was a worthwhile read, for sure. But......I'm not sure it was the best book EVER, and while I DID read it basically all in one sitting, that was mostly just due to the fact that I was at the pool for 4 consecutive hours and had the time to do so.  Not sure I would have been unable to put it down  (as most people claimed they were) if I were at home.  That being said....I am going to buy the second one in the series tomorrow :)

I'm sure there are more highlights, but I'm tired now, and ready to be done with this post.

HUGE thank-you to my in-laws, who not only kept Gunnar for five days, BUT showed him the time of his life while he was there.  I feel a MILLION percent comfortable leaving Gunnar in their care, knowing that he will be taken care of completely, loved on like crazy, and treated like royalty.

Another huge thank-you to my wonderful and amazing husband.  I know technically it's "our" money, but  let's get real here...my "job" isn't generating a lot of cash.  It's generating a pretty awesome kid, but not cash.  So thanks to my sugar daddy for working so hard, and allowing us to be able to go on such an amazing vacation.  I love you, man!

(Speaking of...here's that manly man of mine)







Monday, June 4, 2012

Family Photos

As a Mother's Day gift to our moms this year, Nason and I decided to pay for a family photo session (with BOTH sets of parents, as well as my siblings), and then also purchase a few of the pictures for our moms.  Andrea Foster did them.   She's a good family friend of ours, as well as our go-to photographer.  She does awesome work, and she's very reasonably priced.  She's also GREAT with kids, which really helps out a lot, when you're trying to keep a little one occupied for the duration of a photo shoot.  Especially one with this many people!  I'm going to ask her to "release" a few of the pictures for me, so I can post them to Facebook (because of course pictures aren't really pictures until they've been posted to Facebook), but in the meantime, if you'd like to see our pictures, and/or just scout out Andrea's website for your own future use, here's what to do:

www.andreafosterphotography.com
click on "client proofs"
type in "Family123"


Friday, June 1, 2012

Weekly Musings

Here we go, here we go...

Vacation: 
Do it, and do it a lot, before you have kids.  Once you have them, it will never be the same.  Here's why. You have two options:


1) Take your kids WITH you.  With this option, you'll certainly have fun.  It's likely though, that your fun will mostly have to do with watching your KIDS have fun, seeing things through their eyes, creating memories with them, etc.  It will likely NOT have a lot to do with relaxing, lounging, refreshing.  So..like I said...not the same as what you were accustomed to before kids.


2) Go WITHOUT your kids....and miss them like crazy the whole time.  Nason and I are about to leave next week for Florida, and I am so excited, but I am already feeling a little sad and bluesy and bummed at the idea of leaving my little man behind.  I really hate it. Four nights is a lot, in my opinion (although I HAVE done it once before, and I will definitely say that the sadness of saying goodbye began to dissipate about 5 minutes after leaving him.  I missed him of course, but give me a pool, a poolside beverage, a comfy hotel bed, and four mornings of sleeping late, and you better believe I fared just fine).  It's going to be a blast, and I can't wait, but I feel pretty sure that four nights is my max.  And to think I briefly considered going to Europe with my mom for 10 days!

I Have a New "Issue":
As I frequently mention on this blog, I struggle a fair amount with worry/anxiety.  It's definitely my "issue".  I'm constantly working on/struggling through/focused on/trying to overcome my worry issue.  However, I've become aware recently that I have another "issue" that deserves some attention too.  


In a bible study I'm in right now, we're discussing what it is that we each individually base our sense of identity on (find our value in).  By the way, as a Christian, our identity and value should be embedded in Christ....who HE says we are.  But let's get real....that's hard to do, and especially hard I think for women.  


Anyway, I've concluded that my identity is severely misplaced.  And.....just this very second I realized that my explanation for what I mean exactly would be much too long for this post, and warrants a post of it's own.  So if you're reading this, and if you care to find out more about what I mean, stay tuned for a blog post dedicated solely to that.  


I'm Moving On:
It's time for me to have some closure. 


 I was in a happy, loving, and committed relationship with All My Children for a lot of years.  We grew up together, and fell in love when I was only 15.  We experienced 16 years of life together.  I loved my AMC deeply for those 16 years, and I never strayed once.  AMC was my ONLY true soap love.  I was completely faithful to it, for all those years.  A one soap kind of woman.  I will never get over it. It will never be replaced in my heart. I have to face the facts though, and the reality is, it left me. 


For months, I refused to date any other soap.  None could ever compare to the one I had lost.  However, a new soap has caught my eye.  


I'm not saying I've fallen in love again.I'm not seeing it seriously.  I'm  definitely not saying I'm ready to be in a committed relationship with it.  I'm just saying, I'm intrigued.  I  have a small "crush" on it, if you will.  It has some long-term relationship POTENTIAL.    


Days of Our Lives, you've got some really big shoes to fill, but I'm willing to give you a chance.  Don't let me down.  


Coffee and Sushi:
You know how there's Hard-Core  Coffee people?  Like, they have to have their coffee the second they wake up in the morning, and if they don't, they can neither speak nor process information, nor function in general?


You know how there's Hard-Core Sushi people, and they always talk about NEEDING sushi, CRAVING sushi, having to "go for sushi" or else they're going to die?  


Well, I never thought I could EVER be either of those people, but as it turns out, I'm for sure a Hard-Core Coffee person, and well on my way to being a Hard-Core Sushi person.  


This is bad-timing to start morphing into that kind of person.  When/if I ever get pregnant again, I'm not going to be able to have either of those things.  That puts a little bit of fear into my heart, I have to say.  I can't imagine a coffee-less morning, and although I can still imagine a sushi-less week, more and more I'm finding myself daydreaming about it, and feeling like I must have it.  


Oh one more...


You know how there's Hard-Core Can't Fly On An Airplane Without Being Heavily Drugged or Medicated Because Their Fear of Flying Is So Severe People?  Like, they have crazy-person mental and emotional breakdowns on planes if they're NOT drugged or medicated (but for the record, they're perfectly sane and composed if they ARE heavily medicated)?  Oh, you don't know a person like that?  Well, fly with me sometime, and you can say you've met one.  I fly next week.  I don't fly without taking a Valium (obtained through my network of dealers. Ha ha), and drinking a glass of wine.  On the off-chance that I'm pregnant this month, I don't feel good about doing that next week.  So that means that I, Nason, and everyone else aboard our Southwest Airlines flight from Austin to Baltimore to Fort Lauderdale is SCREWED with a capital "S".  


Ok.  That's all I got for now!  Look for me on the 6:00 news next week.  I'll be the crazy lady that grounded a plane, and had to be physically restrained, because I was unable to compose myself.  It'll be great.