Love and Logic

Have you been wondering why I didn't post a "Love and Logic" post last week?  Oh...you haven't been wondering?  Bummer.  Well anyway, here are tidbits from last week!

1) "Love and Logic parents always ask questions, and always offer choices.  They don't tell their kids what to do, but they put the burden of decision making on their shoulders"
    Ok, this one kind of rubs me the wrong way a tiny bit.  I think I TOTALLY have the right to "tell Gunnar what to do".  Let's not get ridiculous, now.  I AM after all his mother.  He IS after all only two.  I do get what they're saying with this, though.  Although certainly there are (many) times where I flat out just have to tell Gunnar what to do, I see the validity in giving him choices whenever possible, and encouraging him from an early age to get into the practice of thinking through things for himself.

2) "Love and Logic parents insist on respect and obedience, just as command-oriented parents do.  But when love and logic parents talk to their children, they take a different approach.  Instead of the "fighting words" of command-oriented parents, they use thinking words.  Thinking words, used in question form, place the responsibility for thinking and decision making on the children.  They help kids do exactly what we want them to do-think.  As much as possible.

3) Example of the above:
" Child, would you like to play nicely in front of the television, or be noisy in your room?"

4) "The difference between thinking words and fighting words may be subtle-after all, the limit placed in each case is the same-but the child's reaction is usually different.

5) "Anytime we usurp more control (I like the word "usurp", by the way), it means they have less control.  They exert themselves to regain the control they see slipping away.