Phyllis Hengst, "Ma" as I call her, has proven to be QUITE the awesome mother-in-law over the last 9 years of mine and Nason's marriage. She is the mother-in-law that every girl wants. She's also proven to be QUITE the awesome "grammy" over the last (almost) 3 years. She is the grandmother that every kid wants.
Now, I will say, it DID kind of take her a while to realize that I wasn't going anywhere. She liked me just fine, I suppose, but she just wasn't a huge fan of the whole "serious dating relationship while still in high school" thing. She referred to me as Nason's "friend" literally until we were engaged, I'm pretty sure (Nason and I never could decide if we were amused or irritated by that). However, a mom to a boy myself now, I have to say.....I get it. Anyway, even back in those days, before she was 100% "Team Hayley", she was already kind of becoming like a second mom to me. And now......she most CERTAINLY is like a second mom to me. I seriously don't get, and can't even imagine, what it's like to have a mother-in-law that you either can't stand, or, at best, that you just politely tolerate. Similarly to my own mom, my mother-in-law is TOTALLY one of my BEST friends.
So, what are some specific things that make her such a great mother-in-law? Well, glad you asked, because I just happened to have composed a little list here.
1) She raised her son WELL.
She (along with Nason's dad of course, but this "spotlight" isn't about him) taught Nason from an early age what it means to be a man. She made SURE that he knew how to do things for himself. She made sure that he understood the concept of, "if you want something, figure out a way to get it YOURSELF". He learned how to EARN things, versus just being given a handout. She made him garden with her when he was little, because "some day your wife may want to have pretty flowers in the yard, and you'll need to know how to do that for her" (well, ok, that one backfired. She should have known it would when his six year old self apparently replied, "why couldn't she just plant her own flowers if she wants them?" He seems to still operate under that mindset. Ha ha). I could go on and on, but bottom line: a son who is raised well, goes on to become a husband who leads his own family well, and for that, I am very grateful.
2) She constantly does thoughtful things for me
Case in point: just this week alone, she volunteered, on her own accord, to come over and help me install knobs on all of our cabinets in our house, AND two day later, volunteered to not only go and get a zillion different plants/flowers/trees for our yard, but also help me plant them all. I didn't even ask for those things! Didn't even hint! She just thought of it, offered it, and then gave up her own free time to come help me with it. And these are not remarkable and isolated events...she does that kind of thing all the time!
3) She is so.incredibly.helpful with Gunnar
It is really rare that we even have to ASK her if she can watch Gunnar for us, while we have a date night, etc. She volunteers so often, that she beats us to it! Also greatly appreciated: she has learned/observed/memorized all the various things he needs/uses/likes, and has made sure to stock her house with all of it, so that when we bring him over there, we pretty much don't have to pack anything. It's so helpful, and it's so thoughtful, and we really really appreciate it.
4) She's fun!!!!
She's a little bit crazy. She really is. Her and my mom refer to each other as "Pootie". Long story, that I'm not going to go into here, but you have to have a little bit of crazy in you to willingly refer to yourself as "Pootie". Have you ever read the book "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood"? She'd make a good Ya-Ya.
We've talked about this before (her and I), and our first memory of each other is this:
I was 16, Nason and I were just friends at that point (as we would remain for the next 6 years in her mind..ha ha), and Nason brought me, and my little sister (who for some reason was tagging along with me that day) over to his house, because he'd left something at home that he needed. We pulled up, and she was working out in the yard.
I thought: She's so cute! She's got a ponytail, and this cute little baseball cap on her head, and she's covered in dirt, and she kind of looks like a little girl that been's outside playing.
She thought: I've never seen such tiny little shorts before, as what those two girls have on! This looks like trouble!!!
So....Ma.....15 years later....I'm glad that you were able to get past the short shorts, and the "Hi Mrs. Hengst, it's Hayley again. I'm sorry to wake you up/call for the 50th time tonight/etc" phone calls, and love me anyway. It's so great having you as a mother-in-law, and I am so very thankful for you!!
Happy Mother's Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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