Well, Baby Gun is finally here. Has been for almost two weeks now, which seems hard to believe. He is such a precious precious little blessing! The last two weeks have been a bit rough, and somewhat of a huge blur, but we are treasuring every moment! I thought while it was still fresh on my mind (and while Little Man is asleep!), I should journal his "birth story", so that I don't forget any of the details of that very special day.
About two weeks before Gunnar's arrival, our doctor, Dr. Shaushua, started bringing up the idea of a c-section. He's been a doctor for a LONG time, and based on his past experience, combined with several other factors, he felt that it was likely that even if I did go into labor on my own, I would ultimately end up needing a c-section. He told us to go home and discuss our feelings on it, and we'd talk again next week. Nason was all for it, I was kind of stuck in the middle. On one hand, I wasn't at all OPPOSED to a c-section, and even thought some things about it sounded kind of nice (getting to plan for it, knowing that from start to finish, the entire process would be about 45 minutes, having more certainties in regards to the anesthesia they would be using on me due to my back surgery, etc). On the other hand, I had always envisioned the whole "having a baby thing" going down in a much more exciting, dramatic way....water breaking in the middle of the night, rushing to the hospital, bag in hand, long, hard-fought delivery, resulting in baby at the end. This c-section thing seemed a little anticlimatic. By the time my next appointment came, there was still no progression, and by this point, the doctor said there was an 80% chance that no matter what we opted for, a c-section is what would most likely end up happening. It was up to us if we wanted to go through labor first, and see what happened. We decided to just opt for the c-section. We were thinking the doctor would probably schedule it for sometime the next week. My jaw literally dropped to the ground when he said, "Wanna do it tomorrow?". My jaw dropped further when Nason responded with, "Can we do it today?"!!!!!!! As it turned out, there were no openings at the hospital until TWO days later....on a Wednesday.....so that's what we went with. Wednesday morning, at 5 am, we would arrive at the hospital to have our little boy. What a weird feeling it was to leave the doctor that day, knowing that FOR SURE we had two days left as a "couple" before we offically became a "family". Weird knowing ahead of time exactly when my son's birthday would be, and even knowing with a relative degree of certainty what his birth HOUR would be.
When I first found out I was pregnant, Nason and I were both excited, but Nason had a little bit of "freaked out-ness" mixed in with his excitement. He was happy, but felt a little overwhelmed at the same time, and had some second thoughts as to whether we were REALLY ready for this, etc. He even felt the slighest bit of sadness mixed in with his excitment, thinking about the fact that our days as a twosome were coming to a close. It took about a month or less for him to process through all that, and become just PURELY excited. I, on the other hand, was just purely excited from the beginning, and experienced none of those other emotions. However, when we left the doctor's office that day, by the time we got into the car in the parking lot, all those emotions suddenly hit me like a stack of bricks. What Nason had done 9 months ago, and already gotten over, I was just now doing. I cried a TON that night. Don't get me wrong...I was more excited than I have probably ever been. However, I was SAD in a way too, which I hadn't expected to feel. Sad that the chapter of our lives we'd been in for the last 6 years was coming to an end in TWO DAYS, and that I had NO IDEA what this new chapter would look like. What if I didn't like it?? What if it was way way harder than I expected it to be?? What if we should have waited longer to start trying to have a baby?? What if we COMPLETELY sucked as parents, and there was absolutely nothing we could do about it now? I spent the rest of that night in my "weird/icky" mood, and by the next day, was over it. So yeah, I may procrastinate dealing with my thoughts and emotions, but once I do, I get it done quick, right?? By the next day, I was back to being just purely excited again.
I spent that day visiting with friends, making one last trip to Babies R Us, and tying up loose ends around the house. We tried to go to sleep early that night, knowing that we had to get up at 4 am the next morning, in order to be at the hospital by 5, but I don't think we could have set a more ridiculous goal for ourselves. "Going to sleep" was simply not going to occur for me. I laid awake the ENTIRE night, and finally just moved to the living room to watch TV. I drifted off to sleep at 3 am for the first time, and woke up an hour later, ready to get the party started! Just like hearing the phrase "wanna have your c-section tomorrow" was surreal, so was getting up that morning, getting dressed, putting on makeup, loading up the car, and driving to the hospital, knowing that within a matter of hours we would have a SON! We videoed ourselves pulling out of the driveway, and driving down our street for the last time, before we had our baby. We got to the hospital by 4:45, parked, walked in the door, went to the desk, and when asked, "May I help you", said "Yes, we're here to have a c-section at 5 am".....SURREAL!!!!! We still had two hours until the actual surgery started, which I thought would drag by, but it was actually a super quick blur of activity. Nurse comes in, takes blood, asks tons of questions, gives me a gown, sticks in an IV, straps me to a fetal monitor. Nason's parents get there. My parents get there. Anesthesiologist comes in and determines "it may be difficult" to give me my spinal block, due to my scoliosis. Freaking great. Dr. Shaushua comes by to check up on me. Parents are snapping pictures left and right. I'm shaking uncontrollably, due to a nervousness that is JUST NOW setting in. Anesethesiologist's nurse comes in and asks a ton more questions. Another nurse comes in and says, "You ready?", and before I know it, I'm being wheeled out of that room, and into the actual OR. Nason will be joining me after putting on his scrubs, AND after my spinal block is (hopefully) in. I'm wheeled out in the hall, where my family is standing on both sides of the hallway, waving and smiling and wishing good luck. I've been in the operating room one other time, when I had my scoliosis surgery, so I knew what to expect. FREEZING cold room, BRIGHT light, and people EVERYWHERE. There were two doctor's, a nurse, an anesthesiologist, the anesthesiolgist's nurse, and then two nurses for the baby. This may be one of the most monumental days of MY life, but it's purely mundane for them. They are chatting about birthday parties, their kids, someone who recently quit their job, etc. Just a typical Monday morning for them. Despite the controversy surrounding whether or not my spinal block would go in, the anesthisia nurse did a truly AMAZING job at putting it, despite the apparent degree of difficulty that was involved with it. She would also prove to be my hero throughout the surgery (well, other than Nason) as she was the one who stayed right up by my head, and reassuringly coached me through exactly what was happening throughout the entire surgery. Once the numbness took effect, Dr. Shaushua and Nason came in. A curtain was put up right below my chest, so that Nason and I couldn't (or didn't have to) witness what all was going down below. The nurse was on my right side, Nason was on my left, throughout the whole thing. Both were sweet, calm, collected, and kept me udpated on what was happening. The casual chit chat amongst the doctors and nurses continued, as the cutting began. About ten minutes into it, the nurse by my head said, "ok Hayley, Dr. Shaushua is making his last cut, and in about two minutes, you are going to hear your baby cry for the first time". The moment I was most excited about, AND most nervous about, was about to occur. Sure enough, two minutes later, I felt the hardest tug I'd felt so far (I'd felt pretty much nothing up until then), and I remember freaking out a little bit and saying, "I felt that...why did I feel that???", and the nurse assured me it was normal, that it was the doctor pulling the baby out, and a few seconds later, I heard the most precious, most reassuring sound I have EVER heard in my life.... Gunnar crying. I was laughing, crying, and asking Nason, "is he ok? Does his cry sound ok? Is it loud enough? Is he ok??????" all at the same time. Nason, the doctor, and the nurses all assured me that, "yes, he was ok, his cry sounded great, and was plenty loud enough". Nason was laughing that kind of "oh my gosh this is crazy and awesome and unbelievable" laugh, while trying to video the whole thing. The nurse up by my head told me to look over to my left, and I'd be able to see them carry Gunnar by me, for the nurses to check him out. I looked over, and was able to catch a glimpse of a little wrinkly, reddish/purple-ish, squalling critter being carried by. After a quick examination, throughout which I continued to inquire over my shoulder, "is he ok? Is his APGAR score ok?", the nurses brought him over to me, and cuddled him against my face (I couldn't hold him yet, since I was still being sewn back up), and let Nason and I kiss and love on him for a few minutes. After that was done, it was time for Gunnar to go to the nursery, to be cleaned up. Nason asked me if I "minded" if he went with Gunnar while they finished up with me, to which I quickly not only agreed to, but INSISTED on. Are you kidding me?? We're not letting that kid out of our sight! Someone has to make sure those nurses take good care of him! : ) And with that, Gunnar made his entry into the world! 7 pounds, 15 ounces, 20 inches long, born on October 28th at 7:43 AM. The biggest little miracle I have EVER witnessed.
CHECK BACK LATER.....VIDEO OF DELIVERY COMING LATER TODAY!!!
